Two days ago, my daily devotional book challenged me to think of three aspects in my life that I need to change and then ask God to make the changes. The first thing that came to mind was my materialism and my sinful desire for possessions and wealth instead of giving to others. Two days ago, this was a major problem in my relationship with Christ. However, since then, I have sensed that God is already transforming my heart to not only desire to spend less, but also to sacrifice what I do have. This was the first of my prayers and I believe that God is answering. On to the next one.
I’ve known for a long time that I have a problem with self-control. I think in a way, we all do. For me, I have trouble controlling my sweet tooth big time, as well as trouble controlling my spending and controlling my procrastination. Now these might not seem like a big deal to some, especially if you have issues controlling bigger things, such as drinking and partying. However, I’ve been trying for a long time to gain some sort of self-control, and so far, no luck.
Each year, I write down the things I want to control for my New Year’s Resolutions. Yet for some reason or other, I never follow through. These things are on my list year after year, and I’ve made absolutely no progress. If anything, I’ve gotten worse. I’ve allowed myself to make excuses for far too long and now I’m regretting it.
Every time I tell myself I need to stop what I’m doing and control my actions, I never seem to listen. It’s almost as if my brain’s been trained to ignore my conscience in these moments. I’ve prayed a bit for some more self-control but I’m not making any progress because I’ve already convinced myself it’s no big deal by the time a situation arises. The guilt comes much later when I realize I have an empty wallet, there are thirty candy wrappers sitting on my desk, and I’ve done nothing all day besides surfing the web and talking to friends online. What a shame, right?
Perhaps the reason why I’m so unsuccessful in controlling my actions is because of my lack of dependence on God. As human beings with brains and functions, we make our own decisions, decide our own actions, and choose our own route in life for the most part. I’m choosing, maybe subconsciously, to ignore the voice in the back of my head that tells me to stop. I overindulge because I’ve already decided to do what I want despite future consequences and guilt. Now I have to ask myself, how do I overcome this?
The answer is this: When I stop doing what I want, and start doing what God wants, I will see results. We all know the
popular acronym, WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?). This question is usually asked for the seemingly bigger decisions, such as, “should I be angry at this person?” or “should I go further physically with this guy?” But when we start asking ourselves this in EVERY aspect of our lives, THAT’S when we start becoming more dependent on God and less dependent on our sinful natures and desires.
I guess I have a lot of work to do if I want to overcome this, but I know that with God, all things are possible. When I start desiring what God wants for me instead of what I want, I’ll find my life gradually changing to resemble the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and (last, but not least) self control.
“Do not be shaped by the world; instead be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect.” -Romans 12:2
“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.” -Galatians 5:16-17
